Grace, meaning love. Grace meaning acceptance, grace meaning gentleness.
Grace with yourself
It’s never a bad time to go back to grace, to feel it, to get grounded in it, and then to utilize it moving forward. Grace with yourself, grace, with those around you. And I’ve been having one of those days spending hours in silence. I have purged from exercising demons is what it feels like inside of me, sadness and fear and fear of the unknown and my purpose and my past and bringing my past forward.
I’ve been reminded by those that I love and those in my life that we always have a choice and I’ve struggled with it for years, like, Oh, there’s gotta be a switch. I’m going to get that point. I’m gonna learn that there was that thing in me that got fixed. Or that switch that I had to do or this big event that I’m going to discover that’s going to change it all. But the truth is it’s all the small events that we do every day that changed the circumstances of our lives.
And so if I’m experiencing pain in my life, It’s because I’m making decisions in my day that create a container of pain. And what I’ve found out about myself is that is a form of me being disconnected and what’s missing for me, it’s always been grace.
What is Grace?
And grace, meaning a lot of things. Grace, meaning love grace, meaning acceptance, grace meaning gentleness. And that was just reflecting a lot and I feel absolutely amazing.
I’ve had a lot of thoughts come to me. One of them being. You know, none of us have lived this life before. We’re all figuring it out. And why do I say that? I say that because there are times I think I know the answers there are times they think, you know, somebody else has it all figured out. There are times I think that somebody has come before me and, you know, believe whatever you believe. But all of us in this present moment is the first time that we’ve ever been at this moment.
And yes, I trust my intuition. I trust my wisdom, but there are times that it gets clouded because I’m lacking the grace of lacking self-love. I’m lacking space, you know, the space to feel, to fully feel, to dive into those feelings, to not make those feelings wrong, to own them, and then to see them become aware of them and then to take a step forward.
And it doesn’t always mean that my step forward is going to be beautiful or rainbows and unicorns, you know, as much as I would love to envision a unicorn with me on the back of it, riding over a rainbow, into the beautiful, pristine mountain Lake at 11,000 feet. Sometimes it’s going to feel like my foot stuck in quicksand. It takes every ounce of me to pull it out, but I know, like I know I can pull it out. And it’s not about thinking about the destination. It’s just thinking about the next step and stepping forward day by day, moment by moment with absolute grace. Grace for ourselves. So we can give grace to those around us and grace to those around us so that they can give grace to their selves and then give grace to those around them.
And that is how this game works. And so no matter where you are on your journey, you had a comment come into me today that I saw this morning and it was along the lines of like, I saw you like this, and now I’m experiencing you like this. And I was like, yes and tomorrow you’re going to experience me as something else and the day after something else, because I’m not trying to put on a lens, I’m trying to document my journey and document my growth.
And all of us are doing that. And any expectation we have of others isn’t real, it’s ours. And I found that grace is the secret. Grace for other grace, for others, comments, grace, for others, email’s grace for other’s comments. And I’ve just learned that all of that grace can only come when I’ve grace for myself.
And so I feel like this was just straight jibberish, but I don’t remember anything that I’ve said for the past five minutes. So it was either an amazing, amazing moment of clarity and wisdom and intuition or I sound drunk. I might just be drunk on forgiveness, self-love, and grace right now because I feel amazing doing this.