Communication is the most underdeveloped underutilized asset that we have as human beings to achieving anything you want in this world.
Hiring the best
One of the hardest things that I’ve had to work on getting over is finding the missing link instead of finding a companion as crazy as it sounds And probably cost me half a million dollars in salaries and different things over the years, bringing on high level people that are identical to me that were not the opposite of me.
We get to this point where we’ve got this little chunk of this little chunk of space and time and meaning like we’ve got extra time, we’ve got extra money, we’re in a good spot, which is predominantly my life where we can get this little bit of extra. I get this feeling every once in a while, but I could buy my problem away, meaning that I can hire a person. I can get it thing and do it. Instead of, I realize that I’ve got to do that myself. So I’m not saying you can’t grow, you can’t scale, you can’t hire. But I’m just saying a lot of times when I get comfortable, have found that I looked four and I’m way beyond the normal comfort of people. I find that I want to get to the next level and I think of it as throw money at it or throw something at it.
If you have money, you don’t have a problem. I was like, well, that’s true to a sense, except the foundation still looks the same and another floor as much as you want, but the foundation still can’t support it.
So I’m the best promoter of what I do. Meaning that when I promote what I do there’s two beliefs. I talked to someone recently said the fastest way to change. So I’m the best promoter of what I do. Meaning that when I promote what I do there’s two beliefs. I talked to someone recently said the fastest way to change.
What you do is to stop believing you’re the best at what you do, even though there’s certain things I’m phenomenal at the best of the world, the language communication, one of the best of the world at that. Believing that is probably a limitation inside of myself because as soon as I believe I’m the only one that can do it, I give up looking or trying to find anybody to help me.
I bring on a business people to. I bring on myself. I’m excited about what it is that I do. I get excited. I pumped out our business. We make things happen. I promote, I sell. I do. And then I get busy with the infrastructure of taking care of all of it. And then I forget to put in place the things that work like for instance, If I’m training somebody new and I was working with them instead of just training them, I normally train them how to do what I do, show them the things that I do instead of thinking this old way of training or this old way of sharing.
I’m great at selling, great at promoting and do some amazing stuff from stage. How do I duplicate that inside of another person? So doing the work to take the time to actually educate somebody to do it rather than I did the work?
We got to be on focused. the one thing is we’ve got to know what it is that we’re after and what it is we want at the end of the day And I think that’s one of the biggest mistakes people make. Like, what do we want this to do? And it’s the people that can ask that question a lot that they really get really comfortable. Where are we at the approximate? Cause my outlet to get out of the zone as quickly as I can use energy efficient and then go up the other side of the ice. So most people, what I’ve recognized is they do not really know what they want. What it is they’re doing to actually do.
Most people don’t know how to ask. Like I say to salespeople all the time, like when you’re great at sales, what does it look like? What are the results you’re getting saw a lot of people were making a lot of money. What does it look like? Because if it’s just about sales and making money, you’re missing it, the quality of life. What is the thing that we’re after? So I think the biggest question we’ve got to ask right off the bat is what is it that, what is it you’re after?
What is it you want it to do? Because I think a lot of times the decisions we make in our lives, this is where my book average sucks comes in. It’s like a lot of times people think it’s about being better than other people, but we make decisions in life. I would say 99% of our decisions we make are out of problem mode. We’re out of like. Something’s screwed up or, oh my God, I got a bandaid issue here. Put a bandaid on it. Just lost everything. I gotta to figure it out. So what happens is we get to a point where we’re not where we want to be, and we’re willing to take anything other than what it is we have versus ultimately getting what it is we want.
So what I always say to people is that if you really stopped and thought your entire life even becoming an entrepreneur, came out of damage mode. It’s like either at a job, you hate, and you want it to be your own boss. You wanted to figure it out. You were pissed off. It’s about something that you became an entrepreneur. If any of us thought this through, we probably never would have bothered becoming its crazy to be an entrepreneur, gotta be a whack job, screw up, screw loose person. But then we get so into it. It becomes our identity. So I’d say one of the biggest things issues. We run into it where we all need to start a big starting point is what do we want it to do?
And number two, it, because when we realize we’re here to solve a problem, what is the alternative to this problem because, Hey, we don’t have enough leads. What do we do? Oh, you sell leads. I’ll take you come here. But then we’re asking, like, what kind of leads do we want? Is this the kind of person we want a relationship with? How long have we worked with this person? So we make very rash decisions. When we’re not where we want to be. So that’s one mistake that all human beings make and entrepreneurs, especially. So hopefully that’s the beginning of an answer for your question.
Language is an asset
So one of the things is language is the fastest way to change anything. So I’m gonna give you a little bit of little technique. This is my favorite statement is that Communication is the most underdeveloped underutilized asset that we have as human beings to achieving anything you want in this world. Medication is most underdeveloped utilize asset that we have as human beings So when people are like saying to themselves, the world is hard right now. Let me ask you a question. Is it hard or is it not what you want it to be? Because one of those is you’re immobilized. It’s difficult.
There’s three things. Everything we do. Number one is language. Language is made up of 85 different things, language I’m just making up 85, 80,000 things. There’s the words, the intensity, the words, the tone, the word choice, the modality of the words, a million things.
Number one is check your language. And the reason I’d say is there’s another way to say what it is. You’re saying more intense or less intense. Is it a failure? Is it a catastrophe or is it an inconvenience? Those are three different words with three different sets of emotions. I call it gradient language, but on each side of the room word is another way to say it less intense, more intense.
Now you’ve got to ask yourself which way you want to go. Number two is pattern. We all have patterns in our life and you’ve got to ask yourself, like right now we have patterns we have what do we do? Realize when COVID first hit. I’m personal responsibility, survivor type. Like I actually sadistically do really well during chaos.
So when I’m playing hockey and a guy the other day got a blade cross his neck, I got a EMT, a plastic three doctors and a lawyer. Everybody runs, but me and the plastic surgeon, the people that are used to blood, I go, you. Yeah. Even the referee didn’t know what to do. You take your Jersey off, wrapped around his neck.
You go call the ambulance right now. I do really well during chaos. So what’s one of my patterns? So I’ve got to learn how do I selectively create chaos when I need it? Now, if you do not do well during chaos, you’ve got to then find a way to frame that differently yourself. So we’ve got language, we’ve got patterns.
And number three is it’s our state of being like, what state are we actually in? And I always know that a lot of times we try to fight through lowering your head and trying to get through your problems. The stupidest thing you can do. I always tell everyone, just give up. And the reason I say give up for an hour, give up for a day back in the day.
So one of the things that I’ve recognized is human beings look at their situation and they do not set it up to win. I don’t want you to be positive and go. Optimize their life move from where they are to where they want to go and helps people like me that have struggled with self-sabotage and mind blocks and past traumas, get through them and realize that we don’t have to be a victim of our past. And that in every moment we get to choose where we go with all the tools, situations, and some of the best energy without the creepy hand clapping that I’ve ever seen when it comes to personal development.
Back in the day when I’d call people, I’d say I’d have a lot of clients that call people money in motion. There’s a lot to do with what you’re sharing with me and they give people too much credit. So they’re calling a guy that just, he just loved Google got 300 million bucks.
He was one of the founders of Google. And you work for UBS financial. You want to transfer that money into your account. So when you call him, the guy could be five foot six, and you could be six foot five. And you’re looking up at them. You’re putting them on a pedestal. I think most people don’t realize they put their problems up here.
The reason Joel Olsteen has big Joel Olsteen is cause we picture up there power. We picture big, up, top. Most people position their problem incorrectly. Like it, when we were kids, it was Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Mike Tyson and what did we do? We put them on a pedestal, but anytime you put a problem or a person on a pedestal, you put yourself on the ground. So one of the things we need to do is call the Smurf and I hate to say the word Smurf, but when I call people, I picked I’m three foot two. And the reason why is it allows me to dominate in the situation.
The man in the mirror
So one of the first things I’m going to, all of you is take a minute today. Look in the freaking mirror. You don’t want any work to do. You don’t have 90 seconds look in the mirror and go, who am I today? I don’t care if your life sucks today, I’m a guy or girl that has been through a bunch of shit still alive, and I’ve made it is different than I’m a person that doesn’t know what to do.
So what I’m getting at is most of us have to, the first thing we need to do is look in the mirror and goes, who’s actually making this decision. The problem is as a business owner, Most of us are still operating off who we were instead of who it is we want to be. So when I sit down with people from a coaching perspective, the first thing I ask them is what was your original reason for making money?
We’ve got to move on. Most of us do realize that you’re farther along than you think you are. It’s just your old, you is running your life. There’s multiple inside of ourselves. So a lot of us don’t recognize that your brain is different than your mind. Your mind is the operating system, Like your Mac computer is your brain, the operating system. And your mind’s main focus is keeping not you alive is keeping your identity alive. What you’ve said is necessary to be true.
Playing our Cards
So just imagine for a sec, I can get three cards in front of you. Like these are three napkins, but imagine one napkin said, problem. One napkin said solution, or a resource. And the other one said decision, and you put them out in front of you and go which mode I am, problem, resource and decision.
And if you can’t find. A, if you’re in a problem, you need to very quickly get into a resourceful state. So you can make a decision and then you come back and solve the problem. And that’s the one thing I gotta recognize learning how to become aware of that is how you get a Navy seals mentality.
It’s hard for people to accept that quitting is a good thing and procrastination is good. Quitting is good. Most people do not recognize the procrastination, quitting is positive things. So your ability to. Go into chaos and solve problems is a beautiful thing. When used appropriately would you, haven’t learned how to do is understand the margins when to turn it on and when to turn it off. So here’s the deal. If you need it to get going, I don’t want you to get rid of it. Cause you’d get boring. I wouldn’t like you anymore. You wouldn’t be in town. If Mike Tyson didn’t know how to work of a frenzy, he would never have been Mike Tyson. We would have never looked up to him. He would never be one of the greatest fighters in the world.
So we’ve got to learn how to do it. So the question is, do you know. How to turn it on. Yes. But do you know how to turn it off sooner than before it’s too late? Like, do you know how to use it to your advantage and recognize what it is?
Building and Solving
The difference between building and solving is, in a building would be the doing executing the task or the solution that you came up with solving. So solving would be ideating getting clarity, creating an outcome, and then building would be executing what you created that clarity on.
So no one really taught you how to build things. So bottom line is you don’t have sophistication when it comes to building, but the thing you want revolves around building, so you really have a lack of understanding of building.
You really don’t have a co-dependency issue. It’s that building requires you to take responsibility for actually to build something. From scratch. So you like to build things or like it’s a hallucination, the way you’re building is you’re building by solving a problem. So you like to hallucinate build versus what you really want is things to be sturdy. So the issue you’re having is no different than other people is it’s not that things, aren’t the way you want them to be. It’s not that you like chaos so much. It’s that. Chaos is comfortable and building is something you’re not very familiar with, but what happens when you decide to get good at something and dedicate your time to it?
You need to stop trying to be an entrepreneur. I need to stop building something. Stop trying to prove to people you’re an entrepreneur and start building something that works. You get more validation when it’s hard, because thousand percent of that you could do something. And we love things to be difficult. That’s what entrepreneurs sadistic. We like things to be hard. And I can only speak to this because I understand and I’ve been through it.
We want it to be hard because we feel like we’ll get a double reward or a double validation. A win is a win, it depends where you’re at. We think we get extra credit for doing something more difficult. That’s our ego talking. So for a lot of people, we want to find that instead of realizing your job in life, if it’s defined to make your life easier than it is not to make it more complicated.
if all of us recognize we’re not as good as we think we are your day or life changes. Is when you accept, you’re not where you want to be. That is the most beautiful thing. So I learned that you live in the life you have when you were in the Marines that I don’t want to do this anymore. You said I don’t want to be here anymore. What else do I want to be? An entrepreneur? Never thought it through. Started building a box, made an identity. I’m an entrepreneur. I struggle got some people that are gonna cheer you on.
You built your box. I call it your average. You built this box for your life, but everything you want is outside of it. So there’s three ways to get where you want to go. I’ll give it to you. Real simple. Number one, build a ladder. Get out of where you’re at. It’s very hard, but build a ladder. Learning how to build a ladder with any wood. Number two, lower your head, try to get through the wall. That’s what we do. Doesn’t work. Number three, let somebody help you very hard. And number four is outgrow the wall and how you outgrow it is by working on becoming honest. And here’s why I say this is if you actually would look in the mirror and yeah, I’m not as good as I think I am and I’m okay. Actually capable of, but I’m actually capable of 10 times more. That gives you room to grow and it makes unlimited possibilities and massive insecurity in the same breath. But how cool is that? Your insecurity is that you’re capable. You just don’t know how, and then all you gotta do is figure out how to grow again.
So bottom line is anytime you’re going to go do something you’ve never done before. There’s always going to be insecurity and opportunity. But once you deal with the insecurity, you got the opportunity and the gap shows up of who you really are and who you want to be. And they show up in this and that’s the new opportunity. I gotta be willing to be insecure momentarily to test it. All growth comes out of insecurity.