Be bored, enjoy the gift of boredom, figure it out
Our own worst critic
Getting the right people around you. Finding like-minded people to, get you back on track. You’re in a funk when you’re playing less than when you’re, believing the bullshit story in your head is absolutely vital. There is a spiritual component to this. I have our own connection to God or the universe or mother earth or whatever you want to call it that to me is a foundation, but on a practical level, it’s connecting to people. So that to me is a big piece of surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals. But the other piece too, that, took me a long time is just love of self and we hear about this a lot and you’ll hear about it in maybe the millennial generation when they’re like everything’s okay. And an eighth place trophies and all that bullshit. But the sort of immature self-love aside, I’m talking about the deeper. A lot of us are so hard on ourselves. We are our own worst critic. And one of the things that came to me was why not love yourself as you love your neighbour? Some of us are so giving to everybody else. You have to shore up and take care of yourself and women, I think struggle a lot of this because their hearts are such, and they’re so giving in nature. But, that to me is paramount as we develop and mature. This self-love authenticity, thrown around and there’s a difference between talking about it and doing it and then even doing it and then being it. And one of the lessons that I learned is that, self-love doesn’t look like rainbows and unicorns. Self-love looks like radical acceptance for me and honoring.
Part of my life, the people that I chose to be around me, I chose unconsciously because I was wanting to win their approval, wanting to get that respect, wanting to get the traction if there was, wanting to, doing it in an unhealthy way. And so the conscious the piercing of the story and the subconscious direction that we sometimes get pulled into is so paramount because it allows us to choose intentionally. As now as I’ve become more self-aware and matured and. fallen down a few times and gotten back up. I choose people that I’m going to open up and invest time and energy with, on a deeper intimate level, because, because it is so key, those are the people that you do surround yourself, seed you, and feed you with ideas and, direction that in times can lead you if you’re not careful with it.
Trying to make myself fit into their box. Instead of realizing that the only box that I fit in is the one that I create. But because of the creative, add type mind that I have, it is very difficult for me to fit in much regimented boxes. I look at things instead of a day by day basis. Am I moving every single day? That allows me to a little bit of that flexibility so I can ride my creative waves and energy without. Completely derailing myself and beating myself up for not hitting a certain target on a day.
Piercing the story
The idea of piercing the story is being aware that we have a running dialogue in our head. This is psychology 101. And I would love if the society, especially right now, God, especially during that, if we normalized, some fundamental psychological, principles, and one of them is just to understand where our beliefs come from. And so much of our why we do what we do is because of society. It’s because of our parents. It’s because of those influences, when we were young, when we were young and we were open to the world and had no idea how to do anything, and we were just, we were sponges taking all this stuff in. If we didn’t get the absolute perfect model for how to live life with absolute perfect balanced with absolute maximum achievement, maximum optimization of self was did. If we didn’t get that, then there’s going to be times where we bump up against that internal story that we’re telling ourselves. Looking at that and zooming out and realizing, that some of that may have been just simply because, it was what was shown to us. It was modelled to us without the conscious, selection of, yes, this is what I want to choose. So piercing the story is about recognizing that we all have some level of subconscious belief generation that as adults as mature adults, we get to zoom out a little bit and look at it and go.
Some of us did it influences though. Sometimes what’s underneath is what we want to keep. It is effective. It is valuable. It is, uplifting. But if we can do it with conscious intent and go. Now that I’m looking under the hood, that is, a story that is that I’m in alignment with. Then I’m going to choose to accept that, but sometimes there’s story there that’s underneath that. We ought to try to change that we ought to look at from multiple perspectives, right? And then sometimes realize, you know what, this is not what I would choose today. It might’ve been what I chose before in the past, but this is not what I choose today
One of the concept I like is writing my story. Like I am who I’m choose to be. And this is something you help people with all the time. We actually talked about this at length and if I could rewind my life five years, I would have loved if you smacked me in the face then, but I’m gifted with your presence now. When you get to that point, there’s a point where you get there and you have this awareness, but the awareness will only take you so far. I’m going to put myself in uncomfortable situations that actually likes to be challenged and grow. And I imagine there’s a lot of people in this audience who are like that. You just have that natural drive, that ambition to want to be the best version of yourself, but most people fall into the second. We tell ourselves these stories to justify what our behaviour, why we want to do what we do. And I think the big thing to do is to zoom out and go, is this moving the needle for me? It’s this pushing me in the direction that I want to go in my life. And I’m finding on this specific issue, the overstimulation is really me just being more comfortable
Pockets of silence
I think it’s the intentionality that matters. And I think all of us need it. Like we live in a loud world. Non-negotiable there’s no accidental silence anymore. Like you don’t just get to, my accidental silence was staying at your house because it was so far out of town and so dark and there’s no cell signal. I don’t think we live in a world now where we can accidentally have anything anymore. And in the world of the men and the masculine, I think, you know that relationship, you have to create that intentionally to explore your relationship with silence and why you’re having it. Giving yourself that space to appreciate yourself and being your feelings like women run this world. Like you are the modulation of experience and feelings. You don’t know the gift of boredom. Like it blows my mind because they are constantly plugged into something.
Constant stimulation cause do don’t you remember being a kid being like I’m so bored, there’s nothing to do. Be bored, enjoy the gift of boredom, and figure it out. When you get to the point where you feel bored, is when the best ideas come, because literally there’s nothing processing in your brain except I’m bored. And if you honor that boredom and you’re just like, I’m bored literally within a moment, it just gets filled with creativity because it’s no longer reactive to go all the way back to the beginning of this. It’s like the biggest mistake was being reactive