Success is boring because success is the culmination of the little consistent things you do with intentionality and discipline daily.
Huge Loss with Self-Sabotage
There was a time in my career as an entrepreneur where from the outside, looking in, you would have thought that I own 20 houses, 10 cars had it all together, was working two hours a day, and was the happiest that I had ever been. And it couldn’t have been further from the truth. My life was completely in shambles. I was disconnected from my business, disconnected from my numbers, making choices based on emotions and other factors. I was depressed. I was avoiding my feelings. I was avoiding deep connected relationships with my family and it was costing me and at the time I was a food blogger. And I took that business. I got that business up to seven figures by myself and doing what was right in the one thing. And then in those seven figures, I also created the same amount of expenses. Once I lost focus on the one thing I was supposed to be doing and got distracted.
And at one point for a prolonged period of time, like four to five months, I was losing between 40 and $60,000 a month in unnecessary expenses, overhead wasn’t generating in revenue. I didn’t need any of it and then I was fighting those closest to me, my wife, my accountant, my friends, and my family who knew. And I was in so deep and in such denial that I held on like you’re wrong. I’m going to show you, I’m going to show you. And really, I was just more addicted to being right than I was to being authentic and vulnerable and accepting the help. And it costs me a lot. And I was literally losing 40 to $60,000 a month, all because of this one thing.
And then my ego and the pressure of the world that. I was living in that industry took over and I changed my measuring stick to all the wrong things. I was spending my days staring at competitors, looking at what they were doing, thinking that they were doing it better than me, that I could do it better than if I transacted that way. Or if I did it that way, or if I did it this way or five followed that, or if I made this that it will be different. And then I got stuck in the endless game. I would spend most of my days looking at everybody else. Comparing myself, scrolling through the end of the scroll of social, funnel hacking everybody like literally, I was out collecting evidence that what I had built wasn’t good enough. And I was looking for reasons to self-sabotage silently. And I did, I completely self-sabotage to the tune of the numbers that I shared with you. All because I lost track of where I was supposed to be looking. And literally, I had this belief that if all, if I did was consumed content and look at other people’s stuff that my vision was somehow going to build itself.
Also simultaneous, mostly believing that I wasn’t good enough to build my vision because of look at all this evidence I have of all these people that are doing it better. I need to go to be like them. I need to go be like, damn, I need to go do it. So I was just stuck. I was literally stuck just sitting there stuck. And it was killing me. It literally almost single handily killed my life, destroyed me, depression, anxiety exacerbated my PTSD, but it destroyed my relationships. It destroyed my marriage. It destroyed my relationship with my kids and my family and those closest to me for a long time, it felt like an addiction but at the end of the day, it was a deep distraction. It was completely sneaky.
I never wanted to be reactive. I never wanted to procrastinate. I never wanted to fail. But there became a point where what I had done, the success that I had done, I lost focus on the small things. I lost focus on the things that got me there, and I allowed doubt to creep in. I loved self-sabotage to creeping. And then that led to this belief that I already had failed or it wasn’t good enough, or I was going to fail again. And then I started to procrastinate. And then when I started to procrastinate, I would fill that time with consumption, and what I was consuming was poison. And so then I would consume the poison and react to the poison. And I was living in this vicious cyclical rate of things that you do not want to be living in that basically guarantee you tear yourself down from the inside out.
PERSONALITY ISN’T PERMANENT
It’s incredibly easy to get distracted. It’s easy to get pushed off course. It’s even easy to get sucked into behaviors and addictions that take your life somewhere you didn’t plan to go. It’s easy to take our loved ones for granted. It’s easy to be disengaged and disinterested. But what’s the cost. When you have a clear future self, the person and life you truly want, you must actively choose it. You can’t let little distractions come in because little things, if not checked will become a slow boil. If you want to be a conscious and intentional human being, you’ve got to pay attention to what is distracting. The more focused you become the less you’ll even notice all the noise out there. You’ll be too busy to engage and to inflow to see it. Your attention will be exactly where it needs to be. You’ll be making huge progress and therefore you’ll be increasing in confidence and commitment. You’ll show up much differently. You’ll create more peak experiences for yourself and others. Your future will keep getting bigger and therefore your behavior will keep getting better.
I’ll use the Olympics analogy and each one of them as a unique gift in this world, we are a unique light. It’s a, each one of us has our own color, our own temperature, our own signature. nd we are the only ones that can turn the light switch on or off. In our own lives and we have to choose to shine our light. We can’t shine our light when we’re looking at everybody else’s life.
I learned after I think, 12 years of entrepreneurship now. Success is boring because success is the culmination of the little consistent things you do with intentionality and discipline daily. Success comes from being boring every day and focusing on the things that matter. It’s the culmination of those little things adding up.
We know when we look at our bodies, we look at in the mirror where either loving ourselves and we’re not, and if we’re not loving what we see, we need to love ourselves internally and work towards getting there. But you don’t gain 20 pounds overnight and you don’t lose 20 pounds overnight. You don’t go from never running to running a marathon overnight. But no matter what we do, we have to do a series of little things over and over that make progress to get us to where we want to go while also protecting ourselves to not get pulled down a fork to our demise, that’s where the distraction comes in.
Grass is greener on the other side
So when I really look at what happened, like why did I go from generating, seven figures a year, right? So 150 to $200,000 a month to then losing 40 grand a month is because I stopped doing all the things that made me successful. I stopped pulling the levers or another analogy would be watering the flowers that I planted that were continually giving me fruit.
And I was like, you know what, the grass is greener on the other side, I know that I’m going to walk away from those vegetables and those plants that are giving me food. And then I. I think I’m going to skip famine by taking a chance over here. And the truth was is that I knocked down one bridge while attempting to build other ones that were never going to be built because they were misaligned. And they came from me focusing in the wrong direction and looking at the wrong things. And so we have to stay r crystal clear and connected on who we are today and who we are going to be in the future.
We have to be intentional about building it. We have to actively choose to become our future selves and we have to give it away. We have to choose it. We have to choose when we get up in the morning. When we open our email when we get on social media, are we creating? Are we consuming? Are we being distracted? Are we being intentional? Am I utilizing this moment? And this time to give away my gift or to shine? My light is this moment helping me move forward. Is this moment helping me move one step closer to my goal? Even if that goal is 25 years away.
We have to stay on that path. Now we don’t have to do it alone. But when you think about the Olympics, there’s only one person that can compete in the event and win the gold medal, the coaches there, but the coach doesn’t run the race. The coach doesn’t do the action. The coach doesn’t compete in the sport. The coach. Helps them navigate the blind spots or hold them accountable or see things that they can’t see or protects them from things they shouldn’t know or shouldn’t see, so they can win their game. And my buddy, Jeff Spencer, who is an Olympian and responsible for, I think, over a hundred gold medals in coaching people in his mindset he’s competed at the Olympics and what you’ll be what you’ll remember what you’ll hear him talk about with the champion’s mindset. Is that in order to win the Olympics, when that race starts, you don’t even know where your competitors are? They might be three feet to your right or left in a running race or on a bike. But if you look at them, you’ll lose. But if you look at yourself and focus on running your race, the race that you’ve trained for, the race that you’re training for, and you focus on what you can control. It is the only way that you have a chance to win that gold medal.
Win Our Race
In entrepreneurship and business is no different. We need to focus on our race and then have the right triggers or the right pushes or the right accountability or the right people in our corner that keep us on our path, not try to pull us to their path and support us in running our race so that we can win a gold medal. But it starts by doing it for ourselves.
Number one is you have to create containers that keep you focused on your target. What does that mean? You have to protect your time and energy. You have to be intentional about what you do, whether it’s a morning routine or an afternoon routine, whether it’s both, whether it’s I’m only allowed to check my email this time, I have a newsfeed blocker on Facebook and I’m only allowed to create, if I want to look at anything on social media, I have to go type it in and find it.
I am only allowed to work in one-hour chunks. I have to non-negotiable do 60 minutes of alone time in the morning. I have to eat this way. Like, whatever it is that, you know, you have to look out into the future about who you want to become, and then you have to create containers in your life that put bumpers up like a bowling alley. Bumpers don’t make sure that you get a strike every time, but the bumpers ensure that 9.9 out of 10 times unless you bounce that out of the lane, you’re guaranteed to at least hit one pin.
And I want you to think about the containers in your life like that. We’re not striving for perfection, we’re striving for progress. That’s what we’re working towards. So where the containers when you look at your life where your energy leaks out, where your focus leaks out, where your attention leaks out. You have to look at your life. Everywhere and you have to protect it. You have to put containers on it. And so I recommend putting containers on your life and don’t overwhelm yourself. Just pick one, look at your life right now and figure out where in your life or wear in your business you’re leaking the most or you’re distracted the most.
And then where can you create a new technology? And technology is like a series of anything that protects you. Where can you create a technology that protects you from leaking out that hole? If it’s Facebook, download the free Facebook news Eradicator, and don’t allow yourself to look at Facebook’s timeline only be intentional. You can post or you can type in somebody’s name and go there directly, but you don’t get sucked into the endless scroll that distracts us from our vision. So number one is you have to create containers that keep you focused on your target.
Number two another book recommendation here, you have to STACK YOUR HABITS like James clear talks about atomic habits. And so habit stacking is absolutely amazing. And so you create a base habit. You make a small commitment. Maybe your small commitment is to work. Maybe your small commitments to go for a 10-minute walk every morning. You commit to that and you go your 10-minute walk, but then you realize that habit carries momentum.
What we want to get to is we want to get to a series of events or our day set up that no matter what. We’re progressing towards our goal and we’re protecting ourselves from forks in the road. And those things are all added up, no matter what your goal is, where your business is, where your life is, no matter where you want to go, it needs to be broken down into chunks or into pieces that you can step towards every single day. And then you need to protect those steps that you can make them.
Number three, you need to eliminate anything from your life that doesn’t give you the feeling or results of growth and or momentum forward. And this one sometimes requires a hard conversation with yourself because we as human beings do not like to be uncomfortable. We seek comfort, but comfort can keep us stuck. It’s easy for me to sit on the couch and binge-watch movies. It’s hard for me to sit there in silence and think or read a book. So I try to do that. It’s easy for me when I finished my workout to not do recovery, it’s hard for me to do cold therapy. So I work on cold therapy to make it easy.
We have to constantly be challenging ourselves. Like I know that I perform a thousand times better when I wake up in the morning with intentionality and an alarm clock. And so I have to remove things that make me feel like crap, which means I have to wake up with an alarm clock, whether I like it or not because that temporary feeling of discomfort is so much is so worthed for the results that I get versus a day off like fault or blame or guilt or shame as I work towards building myself into a better version of myself.
But you got to eliminate anything from your life that doesn’t give you the feeling or results of growth and momentum. And so that could be social media that could be deleting all the apps off your phone and only using it on your computer. That could be not listening to the news anymore. That could be doing a social audit and removing friends that could be cleaning your inbox. It could be emptying your inbox for the first time, whatever it is, you have to go through the process of removing it. And on the process through, you’ll learn a lot about what pulled you off the fork and what keeps you going, but that’s step number three.
Step number four, stop looking at what others are doing and winning your race. Win your race. If you’re looking elsewhere, you’re looking for support, guidance, information, or feedback that’s going to give you another tool to use in your race, not change your race based on how somebody else is running theirs. Because remember what you’re looking at is just the tip of the iceberg. You’re looking at 10% and there’s 90% that’s happening underneath that. You have no clue. And most of the time, what you’ll see is it’s not as pretty as it looks on the outside. And so you need to make sure that you stay focused on running and winning your race.
No matter where you reach financially in health and fitness and relationships and impact in the world, no matter where you go, there’s always going to be another level, but it’s always going to be you and your light and your vision, and you already have it all. And so protect your energy, protect your time and stay focused on building that vision because every day that you can take a step towards that vision as another day, it’s realized. And another piece of the impact that has on this world through impacting you and those around you. You’re moving forward.
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